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The Battle With Negative Self-Talk

By: Dominic Landini MSW, LMSW

As we turn the calendar to 2025, it is human nature to reflect on goals for the upcoming year. Yet, making lasting changes can be challenging when negative thoughts and self-talk create barriers.

Throughout your day, you may notice thoughts floating in and out of your mind. These thoughts can range from simple observations to more hurtful comments. Some pass easily, while others stick and become harder to detach from. This inner dialogue can shape our day. If filled with fear, judgment, and negativity, the day may feel burdensome. In contrast, thoughts rooted in love, acceptance, and encouragement can make life feel lighter. However, focusing on each thought is exhausting. Let’s focus on one thought pattern that can derail your goals for the new year: negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk manifests in various ways and sounds different for each person. For some, it comes as fear-based thoughts like “what if” or “I can’t.” For others, it stems from blame—“if they hadn’t done that, then I wouldn’t feel this way.” Regardless of the form, negative self-talk rarely helps us move forward. Instead, it creates mental blocks that hinder progress. These thoughts often lure us in, consuming mental energy without offering value. They can be difficult to let go of, especially because they often begin with a kernel of truth before spiraling into distortions.

Consider how these thoughts impact your day. They may leave you feeling stuck, frustrated, and exhausted. When you try to fight or solve them, they grow stronger. The key to moving through your day without being consumed by these thoughts is learning to let them float by without grabbing hold.

Think of a radio playing in the background. At times, a song or show might fully capture your attention. Other times, the background noise is something you can easily tune out. Your thoughts work the same way. Ask yourself: How can I let these negative thoughts play in the background without giving them my full attention? It takes practice, but it is possible. Some thoughts may pull you in more strongly, but with time, you can let them pass like a song you’re not particularly interested in.

For 2025, I encourage you to add a new goal to your list: practice letting your thoughts—especially the negative ones—simply be. Set aside five minutes daily to sit quietly with your thoughts, letting them come and go without judgment. Over time, this practice builds resilience, making it easier to detach from harmful thoughts.

Remember, not all thoughts are helpful or true. Repeated thoughts are not inherently more valid. Many intrusive thoughts are just noise. Some of my clients refer to them as “garbage thoughts.” The stronger we become at letting these thoughts pass, the less we feel compelled to act on them. Seeking distractions often gives these thoughts more power. Reacting this way sends a message that the thought is significant enough to warrant avoidance.

As we head into 2025, be kind to yourself and those around you. If you need help navigating distressing thoughts, reach out to us here at CFSC. 

If  you feel like you or somebody you care about is in need of additional support, CFSC is here for you. Please call us at 248-851-5437 to get started with supportive services.