Have you ever lost your keys and been frustrated that you can’t find them? You look all over the house and can’t remember where you last had them. You may begin to feel worried, overwhelmed, or angry. You may begin to catastrophize with “what if” scenarios if you cannot find your keys and all the negative situations that will arise as a result. In these moments, we often become overwhelmed with negative thoughts and feelings. These feelings and situations are universal experiences.
For children, they can have a similar experience when navigating life challenges. They can experience a variety of different emotions including frustration, worry, sadness, anger, and irritability. A key factor that impacts children is they are living in an instant gratification era. Instant gratification is the immediate fulfillment of a person’s needs or desires. The comfortability with instant gratification can affect a child’s ability to navigate life’s stressors.
For example, if a child is completing an assignment where they do not know the definition of a word, they can open up google and instantaneously see the definition they are searching. Social media plays a role in instant gratification where videos can be searched and messages can be received with the click of a button. The accessibility of technology plays a large role in instant gratification. The unmistakable message people receive is – faster is better. While waiting can be considered annoying or tedious, it builds patience and resiliency. Resiliency helps us cope with life stressors in healthy and sustainable ways.
When engaging in activities that provide instant gratification such as seeing “likes” on a social media post, there is a release of dopamine. This release of dopamine sends a message to our brain that the experience is rewarding and thus reinforces the desire to continue engaging in the behavior. As children engage more in these experiences, it continues to reinforce this cycle which provides reward and pleasure feelings.
So, how can you support your child who is living in an instant gratification era? Modeling self-regulation when things do not go your way can be beneficial. If you can’t find your keys, instead of getting overwhelmed and angry, model problem solving behaviors and calming techniques. Children often learn from how parents manage stressors. Limiting technology usage and being mindful of what children are watching online can be beneficial as well. Validating your child’s feelings when things do not go their way can also encourage them and help them build resiliency.
If you feel like you or somebody you care about is in need of additional support, CFSC is here for you. Please call us at 248-851-5437 to get started with supportive services.